DISCLAIMER: The following blog submission is NOT intended as professional advice or godly counsel. They are merely the views of this blogger and are intended for entertainment only. Please consult family members and legal advice when planning your own final arrangements.

Over the years, I have seen my fair share of death and dying, from relatives to close friends’ relatives, both young and old. I’ve attended funerals and graveside services, and have walked away wondering, “What will MY funeral look like? Will it be anything like THIS? Will anyone attend and, why should they?”

I have attended the funerals of grandparents. Then, three years ago, my stepfather had a stroke. Last Thanksgiving, my lead pastor suffered a seizure and was diagnosed with a malignant oligodendroglioma brain tumor (most of which was removed the following week) and has undergone radiation and chemotherapy and is currently continuing the chemo at this time).

Death has surrounded us from almost the beginning of Creation (see Genesis 3:6).

Now, before any of you begin to believe that this is some sort of attempt to gain pity or sympathy, trust me, it’s not! Goodness knows we have enough pity and sympathy in the world as it is! I am just thinking aloud on the practicality of it all.

I’m 46 years old (or “young”, however YOU want to view it!) and I’ve lived since before the Internet and cellphones. I became a Christian at age 12, attended and graduated from high school and college,  accepting degrees from both, worked various jobs, was a member of a religious sect for twelve years, owned a house for under 7 years, supported a Compassion child for almost seven years now, learned about God’s grace and mercy for the past six years, and have owned up to three (3) Apple™ products. I’ve been gainfully employed at my most recent job for a little over ten years and have set aside enough life insurance to pay for my burial. I’ve lived a good life and am ready to go anytime (okay, I haven’t written my Last Will and Testament!), so, I’ve often wondered, would it REALLY be wrong for me to set up a Living Will which would include a Do Not Resuscitate clause? I mean, really? In other words, why not just allow the natural process of death to proceed uninterrupted by human intervention?

Most of the funerals I’ve attended have been “open casket”, meaning that the casket was open during the entire service, revealing the body of the deceased, usually dressed in their best suit. Sorry, folks, NO open casket for me! I understand (and I am pretty confident that most of my readers do too!) that I won’t be there, just my body. Besides, I don’t care how much make-up and lighting you use, a lifeless body will still look … well, lifeless! Might as well close the lid and call it done!

And the music? Usually upon entering a funeral home (where most funerals are conducted these days) or church, there is soft, S - L - O - W music (?) playing in the background. Oh NO! Aren’t people feeling awkward, sad and depressed enough WITHOUT that noise? Now, while I am not suggesting something as upbeat as “Stars and Stripes Forever”, anything a little more upbeat than slow hymns would be nice (how ANYTHING that Michael Bleecker has written!)!

And, ALL of the funerals left me, not so much with a sense of closure as it did feeling very sad and lonely. Personally, I would prefer that there be no funeral for me, just a memorial service long after I’m dead and buried—a celebration of my life for those who feel like such a service is needed for their closure (BTW, I won’t be there!). Personally, I just don’t see the need for either a funeral or memorial. When I grieve and mourn the loss of someone, it make take a few hours or days. But, for me, honestly, attending their funeral or memorial only prolongs the closure! And, I think that they would want me to move on with my life. I’m just sayin’!

And, the tombstone? It just needs to read: John M. Kirton II / 1964 - [insert] … nothing more, nothing less.