During my twelve years in a religious sect (read my profile above), I learned the value of friendships in community.

Growing up, I had only one friend from third grade to high school graduation. All of my other classmates had grown up and attended church (and possibly church camp) together and did not extend friendship toward myself or my friend, Marvin.

Shortly after I left the religious sect after twelve years’ involvement, through the encouragement of a good friend of mine for whom I am eternally grateful, I was introduced to The Village Church in April, 2004. Since that time, I have learned more about grace and mercy than I ever had, but, almost as important, the community of good friends. 

When I first heard Matt speak of community, it was initially presented with the understanding that community would be found within the small groups. Now, there is a presupposition that everyone in the group set simultaneously ALSO want and desire that same level of community. When I found my first group, I thought (or went in with the presupposition) that everyone within the group had the same desire. I came in, dying of thirst (metaphorically) for that close-knit community which Matt spoke of every week. Unfortunately, my thirst was not filled and, the more I attempted to drill deeper, the more people seemed to repel against it. It wasn’t until later that I learned that, perhaps, community can only be achieved with a few within the group and NOT the entirety.

Today, I am in a multi-generational home group, which consists of single men and women, dating and married couples, ages ranging from 18 to 50’s. Now, currently, I am in community with a few of the men in the group, including my home group leader, who want to walk with me as I wrestled well with my pursuit of Christ in this thing called the Christian Life.

Now, recently, I have been advised by another good friend of mine that I strongly consider seeking counseling for loneliness and some mild depression. And, while that may be warranted, would it also warrant that some of my friends might use the excuse that, due to the possibility that my seeking community is making it “ultimate” that they refrain from doing so? I don’t THINK so! I believe that every Christian should, regardless of where their brother or sister is in  their walk, reach out to them and include them in community. I think that, too many times, we look at others’ struggles and only see them as their struggle!

In the meantime, I will enjoy the community I have with my brothers and can only hope that others will grow into maturity and follow suit.